


Have you ever heard the sound of a pair of idiots running away with your Christmas tree?

by orphan_account



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Also Glanni likes to feel taller than Robbie, Alternate Universe, Asexual, Christmas, Christmas AU, Cuddles, Glanni is rich, Hanukkah, Holidays, In which Robbie spends way too much money on wreaths, Jewish Holidays, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Robbie is obsessed with Christmas, demisexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 17:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9560075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Would you like to?Warning: This story may include (but is not limited to), $200 wreaths, three inch heels, dreidels, Glanni somehow managing to put up with his insane boyfriend, and Robbie walking on a roof and not dying.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Finally, I can rest for at least an hour. Yes, it is February. Yes, this is a Christmas AU. Do I care? Not in the slightest. Please enjoy my week-long work of writing when I have breaks, and somehow managing to not lose my absolute mind. Also, if you want to know what song I've been listening to while in writing this _entire_ fic, just look up "Christmas of love" and you'll find it. It's from the Grinch movie...and idk. The song is permanently engraved in my brain now.
> 
> As always, if you have anything you want/need tagged, please let me know and I will be more than happy to tag it
> 
>  
> 
> _Now prepare yourselves for 12,986 words of absolute nonsense._

It was that time of year again; the time of year when Robbie, quite frankly, wanted to die.

It wasn’t that Robbie disliked the holidays, but rather all of the shit that came with it. He absolutely loved the holiday season, especially Christmas, but as luck would have it, the holidays did not seem to like him. He would plan out the holidays every year, _every damn year_ , and yet something was always bound to screw up everything. It did not help that his boyfriend was Jewish, and celebrated things a bit differently. Robbie did not mind, of course, but the extra planning involved was strenuous at times. Especially since it was doomed to fail. It was like the holidays were cursed for Robbie.

Of course, nothing was worse than Glanni trying to intervene.

Glanni, his dearest and most beloved boyfriend (whom he cherished with all of his heart), always had good intentions, but his plans were never executed as well as he thought they would. Every year his boyfriend would try to help, and _every damn year_ he would end up in prison. 

Every. Year. 

Robbie closed his eyes as the thought crossed his mind, and he sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He had only just woken up, and had gone into the kitchen to grab some tea. He always had to have tea in the morning, or else everything would seem off. As he sipped his earl grey with a pleased hum, he glanced out of the kitchen window. It was the first of December, and he was pleasantly surprised to see a blanket of fluffy snow on the ground. Of course, it snowed every year, but not always on the first of December. Nodding in approval, Robbie’s lips curled into a small smile.

He jumped a bit when he felt a pair of arms snake their way around his middle. A more pointed chin than his own rested on Robbie’s shoulder. His sweater hung low on his shoulders, giving Glanni easy access to Robbie’s skin. He either wore skin-tight clothing, which Glanni thought was sexy, or he wore loose, oversized, comfortable clothes, which Glanni thought was precious. There were two sides to Robbie’s personality, and he loved both of them equally. Hugging Robbie tightly, Glanni pressed a soft kiss to the side of Robbie’s neck.

“Morning love,” Glanni’s voice was scratchy from the early morning.

Robbie smiled, leaning back against Glanni a bit, “Good morning, kitten.”

Glanni smiled and sighed, nuzzling Robbie’s neck with a small yawn. Robbie could feel that Glanni was wearing a thick turtleneck, and a pair of baggy pajama pants. He was also barefoot, while Robbie’s feet were adorned with two, pink, fuzzy bunny slippers. Robbie did not want to feel the dirt of the floor on his feet. However, Glanni’s manicured toes were painted purple (he let Robbie pick the color), whereas Robbie’s were uncared for and hidden underneath his shoes. Glanni constantly bugged him about it too, saying that he really wanted to give Robbie a pedicure. The problem wasn’t that Robbie disagreed, but that he was too ticklish and could not stay still for longer than half a second when his toes were being touched. The last time they had tried, Robbie almost gave Glanni a bloody nose. 

Robbie smiled, wondering when the next time Glanni would ask if he could try again would be. Turning his head a bit, Robbie pressed a kiss to the top of Glanni’s head, and then returned to look out the window while sipping his tea. The two simply enjoyed one another’s company, as they did every morning. It was a calm morning, and Robbie could only hope that was a good omen. The weather was frigid outside, but he and the love of his life were cozy indoors, wrapped in their thick knit sweaters and the steam of Robbie’s tea warming his cheeks. 

Robbie was enjoying the view outside. The home that he and Robbie lived in was in a nice neighborhood, one in which the majority of inhabitants were elderly (which meant they were quiet), and it had plenty of plant life to keep everyone happy. Robbie loved the trees that grew in the area, and was even more pleased when he found that they provided a nice amount of shade. He loved the way the icicles hung from the limbs, and the way the lights glowed-

Wait. What?

Robbie froze, his eyes widening when he realized that was not his tree. He had looked out at a neighbor’s home, and they had already begun decorating. The lights on their trees were beautiful, and glistened in the morning sun.

Robbie _hated_ it.

“What’s wrong, gum drop?” Glanni murmured against Robbie’s skin, feeling his boyfriend stiffen.

Robbie inhaled deeply, his eyes wide with absolute rage. He had never been so _insulted_ in all his life! How dare the neighbors think that they can start decorating for Christmas before him? How _dare_ they!

Glanni looked up at this point, raising an eyebrow, “Robbie?”

“Glanni, you better get up those stairs and get the damn Christmas decorations out, right _fucking_ now,” Robbie said in monotone.

Glanni frowned, “Robbie, we just woke up-“

_”Did I fucking stutter?”_

Glanni knew better than to get between Robbie and his holiday plans. For example, Robbie rarely ever actually cussed. In fact, the only times Robbie _did_ was during the holiday season, ironically enough. He had made the mistake of trying to stop Robbie’s Christmas obsession before, when they were still a new couple, and boy had that December been rough. Unwrapping his arms from Robbie’s waist, Glanni let out a dramatic sigh and made a point to stomp up the stairs.

Robbie paid no heed, however, still livid at his neighbors. Who did they even think they were? Them and their fancy, elegant decorations!

If those people thought they could out-decorate Robbie Rotten, they had another thing coming to them.

Glanni was kind enough to get down all of the Christmas decorations (which took, _literally,_ all day), and by the time he had finished he fell down onto the sofa. He was but a few seconds from falling completely asleep when Robbie came out of nowhere and threw a bundle of tangled lights in his face. First of all, the thing weighed a lot more than one might expect, and second of all…that really hurt. 

“Get up, we are untangling the lights,” Robbie ordered, sitting down beside him.

Glanni mentally counted to ten, slowly, and let out a deep and exhausted sigh.

“Yes, _dear.”_

Robbie glared at his boyfriend through the corner of his eye. Glanni smirked at the small victory, and Robbie huffed in annoyance. He had always hated being called that unless under specific circumstances, and so Glanni only used it to irk him. It was funny to see Robbie so riled up, sometimes.

The two sat and untangled the lights, the entire process taking over an hour because _dang_ if Robbie did not have a shit ton of lights, and by the time they had finished Glanni was surrounded by electric wires and light bulbs. At this point the sky had gone dark, and Glanni was so tired he was about ready to call it a night.

“Alright, time to hang them up,” Robbie announced, standing up dramatically.

“Robbie! It’s already nine!” Glanni protested. “And it’s dark!”

“That is something that the Grinch would say,” Robbie replied sassily. “Are you a Grinch, Glanni?”

Glanni’s face fell into his hands as he growled and rubbed his eyes. 

_Yes, you sick, beautiful bastard…_

“Although you are right, it would be hard to see what we’re doing,” Robbie muttered, glancing out the window. “I guess that can wait until tomorrow.”

“Why are you in such a hurry? It’s only the first of the month!” Glanni questioned, looking up at Robbie in confusion. “You don’t usually get to the lights so fast.”

Robbie frowned, and plopped back down on the couch. His arms were folded and his lower lip stuck out a bit. Glanni knew that look. That was the look that Robbie had whenever something did not go his way, and it was a common look during the holiday season. His boyfriend was a mature adult, but every now and then something would happen and he would turn into a child. Of course, Glanni was no better…

“Robbie,” Glanni slurred, scooting closer to him. “What is it?”

Robbie huffed, “The neighbors are already decorating, and everything looks so nice, and it’s not fair! It’s like they don’t even care that I have a _system_ of how I do things! I decorate, everyone stares in awe; that is the system. They will probably have a perfect Christmas, with their cliché family and presents, and I bet they aren’t even trying! And while they are busy celebrating their wonderful and perfect Christmas, I’ll be sitting alone by the fireplace watching Charlie Brown’s Christmas _again_.”

Robbie had struck a small nerve in Glanni’s heart, because he knew exactly what the man was talking about. Every year Glanni would manage to get himself in jail, and Robbie would spend the day by himself. Robbie would be worried that something had happened to his boyfriend, and then a few hours later he would get a call to find out that the man had been in prison the entire time. 

It was not like Glanni _tried_ to ruin Robbie’s Christmas, but something always happened. Being Jewish, Glanni had never celebrated Christmas a child, but he was also not exactly a _devout_ Jew, and did not mind celebrating it with his boyfriend. Likewise, Robbie always celebrated Hanukkah with him. The times the two holidays were closer together made it even more special. They had even made a new tradition where they had a Christmas tree, but would decorate it with Hanukkah-related ornaments along with Robbie’s Christmas ornaments. He remembered back when they had first started dating, and Robbie had shyly given him a handmade dreidle tree ornament. Had it been anyone else, Glanni might have been a bit peeved, but knowing Robbie had only good intentions…he treasured that gift above all of the others he had ever been given. Sure, it was stereotypical, but Robbie did not know a thing about Hanukkah and just wanted to include his boyfriend in his holiday spirit.

Glanni sighed, reached out the take Robbie’s hand in his. With his other hand he grasped Robbie’s chin, and tilted his head towards him.

“Robbie, I…I promise that I won’t go to prison this year,” Glanni said gently. “I really promise.”

“Glanni-“

“No,” Glanni interrupted. “I am not leaving you alone this year. This will be the Christmas that we break the tradition.”

Robbie looked into his boyfriend’s eyes, his own shining as his lips curled into a smile. He reached out to caress Glanni’s face, giving him a sweet and adoring look.

“Thank you,” Robbie whispered. “Just don’t do anything stupid, and I think this will be okay.”

Glanni leaned up against Robbie’s chest, his eyes closing as he let out a yawn. He was so tired, he could honestly fall asleep anywhere. He had just about dozed off when Robbie spoke again.

“But we are putting up the outside decorations first thing in the morning. You better be up by six.”

~*~

Glanni had tried to sneak out of the house Monday morning before Robbie woke up. During the entire year Robbie would sleep until almost noon. During the holiday season, however, he would wake up before the sun had even _thought_ about rising. Robbie did everything that he could during December. He would decorate outside extravagantly, he would decorate inside to his taste (which was also fairly extravagant), he would cut out hundreds of snowflakes to put around the house, he would make gingerbread houses (although Glanni usually helped with those), he would light candles…the list could honestly go on for miles. Robbie was a Christmas freak, and that was putting it nicely. 

Glanni had almost made it out the door when he felt Robbie grab his sleeve. A feeling of dread settled in his stomach, not wanting to face “Holiday Robbie”. He loved his boyfriend, he really did, but sometimes he was a nightmare. 

Robbie was still in his pajamas, which were actually Glanni’s, and his hair was mussed from sleep. His eyes had dark circles underneath them from only just waking up, and he had a pout on his face. Glanni hated when Robbie pouted.

Robbie looked Glanni up and down. His boyfriend was wearing a pink business suit, and a black tie with a white undershirt. On anyone else it might have appeared a bit odd, but Glanni could pretty much make any clothing look good. He had not put as much effort into his makeup as he often did, but if you looked closely enough you could see some mascara and some mauve lipstick. He looked professional, and Robbie loved it.

“I have work, bubblegum,” Glanni said, giving Robbie a sad (and terrified) smile. “I should be back at around four.”

Robbie nodded, “I know.”

Glanni stared at his boyfriend, dumbfounded. Robbie had always gotten upset in Christmas seasons-past, and he had been sure he would get upset again. He was shocked, to say the least.

“I just saw you leaving without your coat, and it’s really cold outside,” Robbie said, gesturing to the coat on a coat tree. “You can’t get sick during the holidays, I won’t allow it.”

Glanni guffawed, moving closer to Robbie with a cheery smile. Since he was wearing his heeled shoes, he had a few inches on Robbie. Robbie was actually about an inch taller than Glanni, but sometimes Glanni liked feeling like he was taller of the pair. He leaned down kissed his cheek once, enough for the both of them. There was a small bit of lipstick on Robbie’s cheek where he kissed it, and he relished the sight. It was both sexy, and also let him know which lipsticks not to wear when it was hot outside. Caressing Robbie’s chin in between his forefinger and thumb, Glanni put his hand on Robbie’s hip.

“Try not to miss me too much, ‘kay?” Glanni teased.

“I’ll do my best.” Robbie rolled his eyes dramatically, but his façade fell when his lips fell into a smile, “Be careful driving there, okay? It’s icy.”

“I will,” Glanni smiled. “I’ll call you when I get there.”

Robbie nodded, leaning up to kiss Glanni’s cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Glanni replied, pulling away and reaching for his pink coat. “Try not to set anything on fire while I’m gone, or murder the neighbors for their holiday spirit.”

Robbie chuckled throatily, his voice still hoarse from sleep. He helped Glanni get his coat on, buttoning it for him and everything, and Glanni felt his stomach flip up at the gesture. Robbie was always so sweet, and sometimes Glanni could not take it. Being rather unsociable himself, it had taken him a while to get used to Robbie’s kind gestures.

“That’s more your style than mine,” Robbie commented with a grin, reaching over to grab Glanni’s hat off of the coat tree. “I just plan to outdo them. And maybe shine a few lights into their windows.”

“You do realize our electric bill is going to skyrocket, right?” Glanni mused, leaning down so Robbie could put the hat on his head.

“It always does,” Robbie shrugged, adjusting the pink hat. “It’s worth it, to me at least.”

“If you say so,” Glanni laughed, kissing Robbie’s cheek one more time before heading towards the door. “Call me if you need anything.”

“I will,” Robbie answered. “Be careful!”

Glanni gave him a smile and tipped his hat teasingly, which made Robbie giggle and roll his eyes again. Robbie may or may not have ogled his boyfriend’s butt as he left. Robbie pursed his lip when the door shut, and the sound of the car engine starting could be heard. 

Turning around and clapping his hands together, Robbie put on a determined expression and looked outside. He and Glanni had decorated a lot in the yard, but it was not good enough. He needed more lights, more blowups, more glitter…he needed everything. He wanted people to drive by his house at night and go blind. The basic lights were up, and now it was to embellish them. Right now his home looked like every other decorated house on the street, and he would not accept that.

Robbie dragged a large box full of more lights outside, determined to get as many on the outside of his house as possible. Looking up and tapping his chin in thought, Robbie tried to decide what exactly he wanted to do. He glanced over to the neighbor’s when he heard distant voices laughing in the area, and he felt his ears go red in anger when he saw a young couple walk out with some yard decorations.

_Oh hell no._

This was absolutely unacceptable. Robbie would not be outdone by some cutesy straight couple, who appeared to be quite a few years younger than him. Oh no, he would be the ruler of house decorating in this neighborhood, not those two imbeciles. Amateurs compared to his house-decorating wisdom, Robbie would put the two to shame. 

More determined than ever, Robbie grabbed a ladder and some lights, ready to begin phase one of his plan. He had thought of a theme for his house, and he was ready to begin. He would need to run to the store and get some more decorations, however, since he did not have everything he wanted. He hoped that the prices were not too bad, or else Glanni would get upset with him. Of course, his boyfriend very rarely refused to give Robbie what he wanted, but every now and then he _would_ go a little crazy during the holidays… That one year he bought a two hundred dollar wreath for their home, he thought Glanni was going to kill him. But it was the most beautiful wreath, and Robbie had no regrets.

Robbie licked his lips, and began climbing the ladder. He would show those fuckers who was boss.

~*~

It was still early in the month, and Glanni was about to murder a man. He pondered the idea of poisoning the man, or wrapping him in so much paper he would suffocate. How he would poison him, Glanni did not know, but he speculated he was clever enough to figure it out.

Glanni was the owner of clothing company, and the store he owned was filled to the brim with designer outfits and the like. His main store was located in the middle of the city’s mall, and was one of three stores in total. This store was the original, however, and so Glanni felt more attached to it than the others. On top of owning three stores, his clothes shipped out to others across the globe. He had never had issues in all of the years he had owned his own company until Robbie came into his life.

The man practically forced Glanni to promise that he would do “holiday related things” at his store during December, and Glanni had foolishly agreed (he and Robbie had still been in a new relationship at the time). What that entailed was Glanni had to have his entire store decorated for the holidays, and all of the items people purchased had to be wrapped in wrapping paper. The decorating was easy; he would just hire someone to do it all for him. The wrapping, however, was always a struggle. His employees had not been trained to wrap clothes, and although they did a fairly admirable job it was far from perfect.

The meant that certain customers were less than satisfied.

“-And I don’t think this is acceptable to have under my Christmas tree!” the man whined and complained. “You can see the tape!”

_You can see the tape-_

“Yes, sir, I understand,” Glanni tried to remain calm.

This had been going on for at least ten minutes. 

“Then fix it! Or shall I just go shop elsewhere?”

Glanni’s eyes were beginning to bug out, and his jaw was clenched. The employees near him began to slowly back away in fear. They knew that look. The last time Glanni had that look on his face, he nearly got sentenced to prison (again) for manslaughter. Luckily, nobody actually got hurt because Robbie had been there to hold him back.

Speaking of Robbie, it was at that moment, just before Glanni snapped and turned the man into a decorative lawn ornament, that he saw a miracle. An angel in a purple and magenta striped sweater, with skin-tight black pants and fur-lined, three inch heeled boots. Glanni was so happy when Robbie humored him and began to wear heeled shoes, because _damn_. He also took note that Robbie was actually wearing makeup, which albeit was not uncommon, he was still surprised. His boyfriend liked makeup; he just hated how long it took to put on, especially during the holiday season since he was so busy. Today, however, Robbie seemed to make an exception. He was even wearing that lovely crimson lipstick that Glanni loved so much. 

“Robbie!” Glanni cried out in a panic. “My love, could you come here for a moment?”

Robbie looked up curiously; slowly putting a sweater back on the rack of clothes he found it on. Glanni did not generally call out his name in the middle of the store. He also did not generally begin with “my love” unless he was trying to get his attention. He would usually just sneak up behind him and give him a miniature heart attack, which would lead to a fit of stifled giggles and _stop Glanni, we are in public!_

Walking over to where his boyfriend was, he cocked an eyebrow. Glanni looked absolutely _lethal_ , and that was never a good thing. 

“Yes?” Robbie asked, glancing back and forth between the customer and his beloved.

“Would you please wrap up this man’s purchase?” Glanni asked through clenched teeth. “He is not satisfied with its current state.”

Looking down at the wrapping job, Robbie did feel a little irritated. The wrapping was not that bad. Sure, it was a tad wrinkled (and he could do so much better), but given some of the wrapping jobs he’d seen in the past he could safely say that it was a slightly above average attempt. He could definitely see why Glanni was so irked.

Robbie had no problem with wrapping presents. It was actually one of his favorite things to do during Christmas. It helped him de-stress.

“Of course,” Robbie answered, going to work immediately.

He wrapped up the clothing items in under a minute, expertly folding and taping the paper without any wrinkles. Glanni and the employees watched in awe, wondering how in the world he was able to do that so well. The answer, obviously, was that Robbie had literally done it at least a million times. He’d wrapped presents since he was small, and he volunteered at a gift-wrapping station in the mall every year. Finishing up, Robbie handed the man his gift with a sweet smile.

“Here you are,” he said in a tone that basically said ‘if you even think about saying my wrapping job is bad, I will kick you in-between the legs so hard that you will turn into a woman’. “Have a nice day!”

The man huffed, grabbing his purchase and exiting the store.

Robbie smirked when he felt Glanni drop his forehead onto Robbie’s shoulder, trying to calm himself down after the ordeal.

“You okay?” Robbie asked teasingly.

“You just saved me from a lifetime of imprisonment,” Glanni muttered. “I am forever indebted to you, my dear, sweet, beautiful Robbie.”

Robbie rolled his eyes, pushing Glanni off of him. He put a hand on his hip as the other reached up to adjust Glanni’s hat. Glanni was eyeballing him, probably imagining him in his birthday suit, and Robbie felt his face go a tiny bit warm. He did dress up to get Glanni’s guard down a little, and it appeared to be working.

“Mm, you can pay me back later,” Robbie grinned impishly, and Glanni smirked. “But right now I need my debit card.”

_So that’s why he got all dressed up. He’s trying to seduce me into getting what he wants, that clever little minx…_

Glanni’s smile fell and his gave Robbie a look, “No.”

“Glanni, please? I promise not to go overboard!” Robbie whined.

Glanni always took his card away before the beginning of December, ever since that _one time…_ He gave it back after Christmas was over, but Robbie was not allowed to have it before without Glanni giving his approval. It was technically Glanni’s money…after all.

“That’s what you said last year,” Glanni said pointedly. “And yet over eight-hundred thousand dollars _mysteriously disappeared.”_

“Glanni pleeeeease?” Robbie begged, moving in closer and giving Glanni his best pout. 

“No.”

“Pleeeease?”

“Robbie, I’m not going bankrupt because you have too much holiday inspiration.”

Robbie toyed with Glanni’s tie, his lower lip sticking out. His eyes were moist with tears, giving an illusion that he was about to cry. The two stared at each other for a long time; Robbie’s in hope and Glanni’s in refusal. Up this close, Glanni could smell Robbie’s cologne. It was sweet, but spicy, and it lured Glanni in like a feline to catnip.

“Pleeeeease?” Robbie asked one last time, his voice soft and airy.

Glanni inhaled slowly, and exhaled with a frown. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and then reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his wallet. Robbie bounced on his feet happily, making a pleased little hum. Glanni held out the credit car, but kept it from Robbie when he tried to grab it. Robbie looked up at Glanni in confusion, and his boyfriend simply raised an eyebrow.

“I’m putting a limit on it,” Glanni said. “And you aren’t allowed to go over it.”

Robbie tried to snatch the card, but Glanni held it up high.

_”Robbie.”_

“Okay, okay!” Robbie huffed, folding his arms. 

Glanni held out the card, and Robbie took it before Glanni could go back on his decision. Robbie leaned over and kissed Glanni’s cheek (which left a dark lipstick mark) before making his way out of the store, his hips swaying seductively. Glanni let out a sigh, his head going down to lean his chin against his hand. His employees giggled and whispered to each other, but Glanni paid them no mind. 

He quickly called the bank to put a limit on his card before he forgot.

Across the mall, Robbie was browsing through a store. He had a cart, ready to fill it to the brim. He grabbed lights, a few small blowups, and was now searching for some fake candy decorations for outside. He wanted his house to look like a gingerbread house, and he was pleased to see that the store had what he wanted. He also found giant ornaments to decorate the trees outside, and he nearly keeled over in joy.

Robbie inhaled loudly and dramatically when he saw a wreath, decorated with shiny accents and it smelled _divine_. He ran over to it, looking at the price tag. It read three hundred dollars. Looking back at his cart, he mentally tried calculating how much he was already about to spend. Looking back at the wreath, he shrugged and gently put it in.

Who cared about bank card limits when he could just call in and change it.

~*~

Glanni was driving around the corner of the neighborhood, and nearly crashed into one of the neighbor’s mailboxes. His mouth fell open, and his mind drew a blank.

His house…

While it was admittedly gorgeous, Glanni knew for a fact that he had not seen half of those decorations before. Parking the car in the driveway, his forehead fell onto the steering wheel. Robbie was currently on the roof with what looked like a giant staple gun of some sort, somehow maneuvering his way around all of the lights. 

Glanni dreaded looking at his bank account’s balance almost as much as he dreaded Robbie falling off of the roof.

With a deep breath, Glanni walked out of the car, locked it, and then walked over to where Robbie was currently squatting.

“Robbie.”

Robbie jumped a little, and looked down with an excited grin, “Glanni! You’re home!”

_”Robbie.”_

Robbie opened his arms dramatically, “Isn’t it all beautiful?”

Glanni’s hands raked over his face. Part of him wanted to strangle Robbie, and the other part wanted to pull him in and kiss every inch of his body. Well, not really, but maybe hug him for a long time. Robbie had probably spent a million dollars (at least) on decorations because he had zero self-control, and Glanni was extremely irritated. That being said, Robbie looked so damn _happy._ If there was one thing Glanni loved more than Rupaul’s Drag Race, it was a happy Robbie. Bonus points if it was a happy _Holiday Robbie_.

“It looks like Rudolph took a shit on our house,” Glanni muttered, nearly tripping over a small nativity scene. 

“Oh come on, you love it and you know it!” Robbie clapped his hands with a grin. “Plus, I put a Jewish star over there in the middle!”

“It’s called the Star of David,” Glanni corrected.

“Now you’re just making fun of me,” Robbie sighed. “I’m _trying.”_

“Robbie,” Glanni bemoaned. “How much money did you spend?”

“Look at the trees though! I found giant decorations for them too!” Robbie ignored him, “And our house looks like it’s covered in candy!”

Glanni looked around, taking in everything Robbie had done, trying to calculate the cost of everything in his head. First of all, their entire roof was covered in lights. Somehow, Robbie managed to get a ‘Santa in his sleigh blowup’ on the roof, and that made Glanni’s stomach twist and turn just thinking about it. How Robbie had not killed himself yet, he had no idea. There were lit up “gumdrops” all over the place; on the roof, on the sidewalk borders… They were big, small, and in a variety of colors. There were also a bunch of fake candy canes everywhere, and their entire front yard itself was filled with various blowups. Their electric bill was going to be insane this year…

An elder neighbor who was walking her dog passed by, and laughed softly, “Going all out again, I see?”

Glanni turned to her, “Please save me.”

The woman laughed and continued on her way, and Glanni turned back with a worried expression. Robbie was climbing down the ladder, and Glanni reached out to hold it steady. He hated when Robbie got up so high. Robbie was afraid of heights, and his legs always wobbled which made him prone to fall. How he managed to get up there on his own was a mystery. Glanni speculated it was probably because Robbie was so excited to decorate that he momentarily forgot about his fear.

“Robbie, please tell me you didn’t go over the limit,” Glanni said lowly. 

“I didn’t go over the limit,” Robbie said truthfully, wiping his hands off on his pants.

Glanni let out a sigh of relief, “Thank God.”

“But I may have raised it just a _tiny bit-”_ Robbie began.

_”Robbie!”_

Robbie escaped Glanni’s grip by fleeing underneath his arm and running away, terrified for his life. Glanni whipped out his phone and checked his balance, terrified at what he might find. Nothing could prepare him for what he saw.

“Wait, what?” Glanni was confused. “You only spent one-hundred thousand this year?”

Robbie reappeared from behind a tree, wrapping lights around its trunk carefully, “Yes, Glanni, I promised not to go overboard!”

“But how-“

“I bought everything in bulk,” Robbie said proudly. “I only raised it a little to make sure I had some wiggle room, ya know…because taxes.”

Glanni’s shoulders sagged in relief, and he could not help but smile. His boyfriend was pretty clever, actually. He got enough stuff to keep himself happy, while spending less money to please Glanni. 

“We still have to get a tree though,” Robbie pointed out.

“You know, there is always the option to get a fake one-“

_”Who do you think I am?!”_ Robbie demanded, dropping the lights he held and putting his hands on his hips. “I am no amateur, Glanni Glæpur, and am offended that you would suggest such a thing.”

Glanni shrugged, “It’s easier than having to pick one, though. Just saying.”

“You are making yourself dinner tonight.”

~*~

Glanni was fairly certain he would never escape this hell. Various trees, each different in height and width, surrounded him and Robbie and he thought that they all looked the same. Robbie said otherwise. He had learned early on to not argue with Robbie about which tree was correct, and that he should just keep his mouth shut. If Robbie asked him anything, he just agreed with the man. 

“What about this one?” Robbie asked, feeling the branch as he looked at it.

“Sure.”

“Nah, it’s too thin,” Robbie muttered, continuing on.

Glanni followed behind, hoping that they could just get the damn thing and go. He had even worn his cat suit, which he only wore when he had to do any sort of manual labor, because he refused to get any pine needles in his designer clothes. No sir. Robbie had his priorities, which in this case was to have Glanni help him pick a tree so they could spend “quality time together”, but Glanni had his own priorities, which were along the lines of “no, Robbie, I am not going to help you carry a tree in six-hundred dollar stilettos”.

“This one looks nice,” Robbie said, eyeing a taller tree.

“Yes, it does,” Glanni said nonchalantly, picking at some dirt beneath his nails. “Damn, I need a new manicure…”

“I don’t know…” Robbie sighed, arms folded in thought.

Glanni rolled his eyes as Robbie’s expression grew worried, “Then let’s just move on to the next group of trees.”

Robbie turned to Glanni, shaking with anxiety. His face fell into onto Glanni’s shoulder, his hands covering his face. Glanni wrapped his arms around Robbie, petting his hair soothingly as he sighed.

“Glanni, what if we don’t find a tree?”

“You say that every year, but we always do.”  
“But all of these are ugly!” Robbie wailed, whining into the fabric of Glanni’s suit.

“They are _trees_ Robbie, just pick one and-“

“Oh my God.”

Glanni coughed as Robbie pushed him away roughly, pointing behind him with wide eyes. 

“That’s the one I want.”

Glanni turned to see a small family begin speaking to the store managed as they gestured towards a tree. The tree was fairly tall, but not too tall. It was even all the way around, and was standing straight in the air rather than tilted. It had a reasonable width as well; not too skinny, and not too wide. Glanni closed his eyes and gave Robbie a wearied look.

“Robbie, they’ve already picked that one-“

_”I want that tree,”_ Robbie’s eyes darkened, and Glanni swallowed. 

Turning back to see the happy family with their tree, Glanni shook his head and stood his ground. He looked at Robbie with a comforting gaze, trying not to irritate his already upset boyfriend. Robbie was staring the tree with such want it almost made Glanni jealous. He took Robbie’s hand gently, squeezing it as he led him in the other direction. Some people glanced in their direction as he pulled Robbie away.

“Come on, we’ll find a different one,” Glanni encouraged.

Robbie pouted, but complied. Glanni began to help out a bit more, trying to find a tree that looked like the one Robbie had wanted. Robbie had tried to pick a different one, he really did, but every single tree he saw was not what he wanted. Glanni was about to suggest they go somewhere else when Robbie said that they should split up to cover more ground. Glanni reluctantly agreed, not wanting to leave Robbie on his own in the maze of trees. 

Glanni searched all of the trees; picturing the one Robbie had wanted in his mind as something to compare it to. Every tree he thought might be good enough was either too wide, too skinny, too short, too tall, or it was oddly shaped. Robbie really did know how to pick a good tree, Glanni realized, and it was too bad they had not arrived a few minutes sooner.

With a sigh, Glanni decided that he should find Robbie so the two could just go somewhere else. He walked through the trees, calling Robbie’s name softly, but there was no sign of his sweetheart anywhere. He asked some people if they had seen a mopey, lanky, brunette man who was wearing a very distinct purple sweater walking around anywhere, but people either said they had not or it had been a long enough time to not be of any help. 

_Maybe he’s waiting for me in the car, because he couldn’t find me?_

With that in mind, Glanni headed out towards his car. As he approached, he saw no sign of Robbie anywhere. The trailer they had attached to the car was empty, and nobody was inside the vehicle. With a furrowed brow, he pulled out his phone to call Robbie. Pressing the call button, Glanni held the phone up to his ears. It rang for a moment before Robbie picked up.

“Robbie, where are you?” Glanni asked worriedly. “I’m waiting out by the car.”

There was a loud shuffling noise in the background, and Glanni could hear Robbie’s heavy breathing. If that had not worried him enough, he could also hear various voices yelling in the distance of wherever Robbie was.

“I’ll be there in just a sec-OW! BITCH!” Robbie was breathing very heavily, like he was running. “Just _*snap*_ start the car!”

Glanni frowned, trying to hear what the voices were saying. He vaguely heard the words _tree_ and _help_ , and Glanni only assumed the worst. He had to pull the phone away from his ear when an extremely loud scratching noise sounded in his speaker, like someone was crinkling a potato chip bag.

“Robbie…what is going on?” Glanni demanded. 

“Nothing, munchkin!” Robbie answered, the scratching noise still in the background. “Just start the car, and get ready to drive! And if- BITCH I’LL CUT YOU!”

“Robbie-“

“START THE DAMN CAR!” Robbie screamed, hanging up.

Glanni looked down at his phone with his mouth hanging open. However, he did as Robbie said. He got in the car, started it, and waited patiently for Robbie get in. Looking out at the entrance of the place, he watched for his boyfriend. He saw someone carrying out a tree, and looked down at his nails again in boredom. A split second later, he looked back up urgently, his eyes widening at the sight he saw.

Robbie was _running_ with a tree on his back. He was holding onto it for dear life, and dragging the thing behind him faster than Glanni had ever seen him move. It was all a blur of purple and green, little needles flying in all directions as Robbie made his way to the car. Glanni could not do anything but watch, paralyzed from shock. Robbie got to the trailer, and flung the tree into it. He strapped it down at lightning speed, and then fled to the passenger’s seat of their car. Glanni stared at Robbie as he put on his seat belt, and Robbie was breathing heavily from exhaustion.

“I think I lost them,” Robbie said with a wide grin.

“Did you just _steal a Christmas tree?”_ Glanni whispered, both impressed and mortified.

Robbie smiled wider than Glanni had ever seen, “Yes.”

“HEY! That’s OUR tree!”

Glanni and Robbie looked out the window to see the once-happy-now-angry-family running at them, crying out obscenities and threats. After he accidentally hit Robbie’s hand extremely hard in fright, Robbie rolled down the window and held up his middle finger, which made the mom cover her youngest child’s eyes. Glanni then proceeded to look down at his hurt hand, and gasped in horror.

“YOU BROKE MY NAIL!”

Robbie smacked him in the chest a few times, eyes wide as he watched the family closing in.

“DRIVE GLANNI, DRIVE!” Robbie screeched. “GO GO GO! I AM NOT LOSING THIS FUCKING TREE TO A MOM OF THREE!”

Glanni, both in fear of the family and of his boyfriend, slammed the gas pedal and they zoomed away at what was probably an illegal speed. After a few minutes they had calmed down and were on their way home, and Glanni was absolutely speechless. He knew that Holiday Robbie could get desperate, but he had never seen the man go to such lengths. It was kind of hot, but it was also absolutely terrifying.

“Robbie…”

Robbie hummed in response, his eyes lidded and eyebrows raised as if to say “you just try and question me”.

Glanni was silent for a moment, looking at the road ahead of him. Out of his rearview mirror he could see the tree rustling from the wind, and out of his peripheral vision he could see his sexy (but insane) boyfriend. His hair was all mussed from dragging around that tree, and Glanni wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through it.

_“Robbie, what the actual fuck?”_

Robbie smirked wickedly, looking back out the window. He had his legs crossed with his hands clasped on his knee delicately. If he were not covered in tree needles and dirt, he would be the symbol of perfect and proper etiquette. 

Glanni shook his head, “What am I going to do with you?”

“Keep me,” Robbie answered with a sweet smile, leaning over and kissing Glanni’s cheek. “And then help me get the tree in the house, because I can’t feel my upper back.”

“I don’t know how you managed to carry the damn thing all by yourself to begin with,” Glanni said in bewilderment. “I mean really, that’s not exactly a small tree!”

“Adrenaline, and the will to live,” Robbie said with closed eyes. “Pretty sure the mom was trying to kill me.”

“Well, you did steal their tree.”

“I left them money!” Robbie pointed out. 

Glanni laughed and shook his head. 

The two were silent the rest of the way home, still trying to process what had happened. The gentle hum of the radio kept it from being to quiet. As they pulled into their driveway, Glanni noticed that it was already fairly dark outside. Their house was like a beacon to alien life forms on other planets, lighting up the town like a second sun. As Glanni unbuckled his seatbelt to get out of the car, he noticed something on their door that he had not before.

“Robbie?”

“Yeah?” Robbie asked, opening his car door.

“Is that _another_ two-hundred dollar wreath?” Glanni questioned in disbelief.

“Of course not!” Robbie laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

Glanni nodded in relief.

“It’s a three-hundred dollar wreath.”

Glanni proceeded to bang his forehead against the steering wheel.

~*~

This was Glanni’s favorite part of the holiday season; cuddling with his boyfriend in front of the fireplace with a cup of hot chocolate. It was technically Hanukkah at this point, and Robbie made a point to spend the entire with Glanni. He always did. He forgot all about Christmas decorations and dreidel ornaments, and instead focused on his boyfriend. He made hot chocolate, with whipped cream and everything, and had also gotten Glanni’s favorite Hanukkah meal; Chinese takeout. Glanni was honestly obsessed with Chinese takeout, and Robbie had no complaints. Robbie had also gotten Glanni a Hanukkah gift; this year it had been a variety of makeup items that he’d been dying to get forever but had never gotten around to. He also gave Glanni a jar of Hershey Kisses with a note that said “for when I’m not around”. It was adorable, and so _Robbie,_ that Glanni could not help but love it. The two had kissed for a bit, which ended up in a tickle fight, and ultimately led to the two of them wrapped in each other’s arms on the couch.

Robbie’s head was lying on Glanni’s chest, his hands wrapped around his torso. Glanni had one hand around Robbie’s midline, and the other gently running through his hair. Robbie’s hair was always so long, which reminded Glanni that his own was growing out and that he should probably get it cut soon. Then again, Robbie had not said anything…so maybe he should try out a new look. Glanni had just always cut it because the curls got annoying to manage after a while, but maybe he could just let it do it’s thing and it would magically look good.

“Glanni?” Robbie said softly, rubbing his cheek against Glanni’s sweater.

“Hm?” Glanni answered, his finger tracing Robbie’s ear.

“Happy Hanukkah,” Robbie said with a smile as he looked up at Glanni lovingly.

Glanni smiled and bopped Robbie’s nose with his finger, “Thank you.”

Fiddling with Glanni’s hair as Robbie shuffled up so their faces were parallel, he realized that his hair was at least two inches long. 

“Are you growing out your hair?” Robbie asked curiously.

“I’ve just been lazy,” Glanni admitted. “Why? Does it look bad?”

Robbie shook his head, “I love it.”

“You love it?” 

“I _love_ it,” Robbie repeated as his pupils dilated a bit. “It’s gorgeous. I didn’t even know you had curly hair.”

“It’s a curse, is what it is.” Glanni smiled, “But I guess I’ll grow it out then.” 

“Oh I didn’t mean-“

“Nope, it’s already been decided,” Glanni shook his head dramatically. “I shall release my long flowing locks from their captivity. The allure will trap you forever.”

Robbie snickered, his fingers twirling Glanni’s hair playfully. The two remained like that for a while, simply enjoying each other’s presence. Over the course of their relationship, they had learned to communicate without words a little. Robbie’s dramatic expressions were easy enough to read, and Glanni’s eyes always gave him away. It was a nice alternative to having to constantly make an effort to communicate in such a way.

Glanni leaned down, pressing his forehead to Robbie’s gently, “I love you.”

Robbie smiled, blushing a little, “I love you too.”

Glanni pressed a tiny kiss to Robbie’s lips, and Robbie sighed in approval. Their lips each tasted like chocolate, and it was wonderful. Pulling away and laying his head back against the couch’s pillows, Glanni smiled and closed his eyes. He began to chuckle lightly, and Robbie watched in curiosity.

“What’s so funny?” Robbie asked, his chin resting on Glanni’s chest.

“I know what shampoo I’ll start using, to enhance my hair’s beauty,“ Glanni grinned.

“Oh no,” Robbie muttered. “What?”

“L’Oreal, because I’m worth it,” Glanni laughed.

Robbie groaned, but smiled nonetheless, “Glanni, stop!”

Glanni smiled, caressing Robbie’s cheek as he laid the side of his face on Glanni’s chest. The two remained like that, slowly falling into a deep slumber. If their entire lives consisted of this very moment, they would be happy. When Robbie whimpered in his dream, Glanni subconsciously tightened his hold around him. Robbie always slept better when Glanni was present.

The moment was peaceful, beautiful, and everything that the two would ever need.

And yet, Glanni knew that the moment they woke up the next morning, the _real_ Holiday Robbie would reveal himself. Anyone sane would flee, but who said Glanni was sane? No, he would endure his boyfriend’s eccentric decorating and behavior, because he loved Robbie more than anything. In the end, seeing the joy on Robbie’s face would be worth it. That is, if he managed to keep himself out of prison.

He never went in for anything too bad. One year it was a misunderstanding, one year it was because he accidentally stole something from a store because he had been in a hurry. He never intentionally got in jail, and the police department always released him the next day or the day after. However, that meant he had never been home on Christmas day, which upset Robbie more than anything. Glanni was determined to make sure this Christmas was not ruined for his boyfriend, even if he had to tape himself to a chair the night before.

He would make this Christmas the best Christmas Robbie had ever had, and he knew exactly how he was going to do it.

~*~

Robbie smiled as he ladled some soup into a bowl and handed it to the hungry woman. She gave him a wide and toothy smile, thanking him with sincerity. He nodded his head in return, commenting on how lovely her eyes were. She blushed and sat down at one of the cheap tables in the room, and Robbie continued his work. He ladled soup for the next person, a young man with tattered clothes. He also thanked Robbie as he took the soup with shaking hands, and Robbie gave him a smile as well, asking if he was cold. The man shook his head and replied that this was actually the first time he had been warm in a while, and Robbie smiled with a hint of sadness.

Robbie volunteered at a small soup kitchen fairly often, but he was especially adamant about it during December. He always made sure to do it on Christmas Eve, as well, since most of the other volunteers would not due to holiday plans. Robbie had always found volunteering in this small place to be fulfilling, along with comforting. He had always had trouble finding what his purpose in life was, not knowing where he was heading or what he should do. A few years back, during his late teen years, he had been dealing with an especially hard dose of anxiety on this topic. So, instead of moping around about it like he had been doing for so long, he decided to _make_ a purpose for himself. He found volunteering to be soothing, a way for him to help out without any stress. 

He had even managed to get Glanni to help sometimes, which was always a bit interesting. However, due to his company, Glanni could never help on Christmas Eve. His stores were always full of last minute shoppers, and even though he had convinced the man to give his workers the week after Christmas off, Christmas Eve was off limits. He ran a successful business for a reason, not simply by luck.

This was why Robbie was surprised to see Glanni walk into the soup kitchen. He was not wearing his usual attire, but instead one of Robbie’s sweaters and a pair of black pants. Glanni had felt awkward whenever he wore anything too nice in the soup kitchen, which Robbie understood, and so he always made a point to look more “normal”. He wasn’t even wearing any makeup.

Glanni made his way to the back, coming to stand by Robbie. Putting an arm over Robbie’s shoulders as he ladled, Glanni booped his nose with a grin. Robbie rolled his eyes as he handed a young girl a bowl of soup, and turned to raise an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

“Glanni, what are you doing here?” Robbie asked, honestly surprised. 

“What, are you not happy to see me?” Glanni placed his hand over his heart dramatically. “I am deeply offended. And after I came all this way-“

“Of course I’m happy to see you,” Robbie laughed, stirring the soup a bit. “I’m just curious why you are here and not at your store.”

Glanni smirked, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Robbie’s eyes widened briefly as he ladled more soup. A sudden thought crossed his mind, and his expression grew dark. Robbie turned to Glanni with a frown as he handed someone else soup. 

“Glanni, don’t you _dare_ do anything stupid.”

Glanni rolled his eyes, “I’m not, geez _mom.”_

“Glanni I’m serious,” Robbie said worriedly. “I don’t want a…a repeat of what’s been happening the last few years! I just want to have a nice _normal_ Christmas.”

Glanni turned Robbie’s face to look at him, and gave him the sweetest smile that he could. Robbie could see the sincerity in Glanni’s gaze, knowing that he had no intention of doing anything stupid. Robbie sighed in relief, turning back to ladle some more soup. 

“I promise that we will have a nice Christmas,” Glanni said, his hand resting on Robbie’s lower back.

Robbie sighed, “I hope so.”

Glanni leaned over and kissed Robbie’s cheek, “I promise.”

Robbie turned to Glanni for a moment, and Glanni smiled. 

“You never did say why you came here,” Robbie pointed out.

“Oh, right,” Glanni shook his head. “I am going to the store to get some stuff, ya know…eggnog and what not. I just wanted to know if you wanted anything.”

“You could have just texted me,” Robbie chuckled. 

“Why? I’m already here,” Glanni shrugged.

“No, thanks,” Robbie smiled. “All I need for Christmas is you.”

Glanni smirked, “Nicely done.”

“Thank you,” Robbie laughed.

Glanni rolled his eyes, saying goodbye before leaving the soup kitchen. Robbie watched him go with a somewhat concerned gaze. He really did hope nothing happened.

Glanni, on the other hand, was absolutely ecstatic. In fact, he had never felt so alive. He was excited, nervous, and could only imagine would lovely times lie ahead of him. Walking down towards the mall, Glanni expertly weaved his way through the stores. Making a quick stop at his own store to check on everyone, he then left for a different destination. When he came across the fancy cursive lettering above the store, he smiled nervously, taking in a deep breath, and then went inside.

This Christmas would be the best, if everything went according to plan.

~*~

Robbie had gotten home that afternoon, pulling his car into the driveway. He admired his handiwork of house decorating, pleased to see that his was much more extravagant than the neighbors’. He had gotten a few complaints from people saying his lights were too bright, but with a few sweet smiles and free cookies he had gotten everyone to be alright with it. 

Robbie went inside, locking the door behind him, and thought about what he should do. Glanni had not gotten home yet, but he had told Robbie that morning that he might be a little late. After he took off his shoes and coat, Robbie went into the kitchen to start making supper. He had some dessert already made, along with a small turkey in their oven that had been cooking since that morning, but he had a few more things to go along with it that he needed to get done before his boyfriend returned. With a smile, Robbie got to work.

He had finished making dinner at six, and knowing that Glanni might be a little late he did not think twice when he hadn’t shown up. So, Robbie waited patiently for his boyfriend.

It was not until about seven in the evening that Robbie began to get worried. Glanni _did_ say he would be late, but Robbie was unsure if he meant _that_ late. He had already finished making supper, the food staying warm in the oven, but he refused to eat it alone. Glancing at the clock, Robbie swallowed. 

At eight-thirty, Robbie called Glanni’s phone, only to hear it ringing from the other room. Glanni had accidentally left his phone at home, which explained why he had not called Robbie earlier that day. This caused Robbie to worry even more, thinking up various scenarios of what could have happened to Glanni. He could just be stuck in traffic, but he could also be lying in an alley with a gun wound in his side.

If he had accidentally ended up in prison, again, he would have called with his one phone call! He did every single year, so why would this year be any different? No, something must have happened to Glanni, and Robbie began to fidget at the thought. He knew his Christmas would be ruined, but he really hoped it seemed a lot worse than it was. 

If something had happened to Glanni on Christmas, Robbie would never be able to recover.

At nearly ten in the evening, Robbie left the house with tears in his eyes and fear in his heart.

~*~

Glanni sat alone in the cell. The police officers had given him the nice waiting cell that year, which was kind of them. Instead of being overcrowded by thugs and violent wrongdoers, he was put in a single cell. The police officers knew that he was not a bad man, after all this was the fourth time he had ended up in this place, however it was in their job description to detain him until further notice. One of the officers was trying to figure out what had happened, hoping to be able to release Glanni before Christmas morning.

Glanni had refused his phone call, unable to face Robbie’s disappointed face. He had promised that he would not do anything stupid, and he hadn’t, but luck was not on his side. He should have just stayed home, and that way nothing could have happened. 

Sitting on the edge of the bench in the cell, with his face in his hands, Glanni only hoped that Robbie would forgive him. As the man sat alone, nobody there to talk to him, unwanted thoughts made themselves known in his mind.

_Robbie deserves so much better than me… What was I even thinking?_

Glanni felt his stomach sink.

_Why would I ever think…that he would…_

Glanni felt the sting of tears in his eyes, and he shut them tightly so they would not escape.

_I’m such a piece of shit, he deserves to be happy…_

Glanni’s hands clenched in his hair.

_He can’t be happy with me…_

_Glanni!_

_What? Even in my mind I hear his voice…_

_Glanni!_

_He sounds so upset…_

He was so lost in his thoughts of self-loathing that he did not hear the creak of the cell door opening. Glanni reeled back when someone slammed into him. He was confined within strong arms, and when he looked over to see who it was he saw a familiar patch of black hair and a purple striped sweater. 

“Glanni!”

“R-Robbie…?”

Robbie sobbed in response, his hands clutching Glanni’s sweater tightly. Robbie had his face buried in the crook of Glanni’s neck, his tears staining the fabric there. Robbie’s knees gave out, and he collapsed onto the floor, dragging Glanni along with him. Glanni wrapped his arms around Robbie shakily, not knowing what to do or say.

He did not know how to face Robbie…

“Robbie,” Glanni began, clearing his throat. “I’m sorry-“

“You’re such an _idiot,”_ Robbie hissed out, making Glanni flinch.

Pulling away with bloodshot eyes, Robbie frantically reached up to Glanni’s face. He pulled Glanni in and slammed their lips together, tears spilling from his eyes. After a moment, he pulled away and kissed every inch of Glanni’s face. Glanni made a slightly disgusted face, but said nothing.

_”Why?”_ Robbie demanded, his voice hoarse. “Why didn’t you call me- Glanni I was so _fucking worried!”_

Glanni’s eyes widened, his own tears filling his eyes. He felt so ashamed. He had been focusing so much on how much of a horrible boyfriend he was that he completely forgot about how Robbie would feel. He knew Robbie would be angry, but he had not considered the fact that he would be worried.

“Robbie-“

“No, just…b-be quiet!” Robbie sobbed, pulling Glanni back to him in a tight embrace. 

Glanni held Robbie, tears beginning to fall from his eyes. He felt so horrible, making Robbie worry about him like that. The two of them stayed like that for a moment. Robbie calmed down a bit, but did not move away from Glanni.

“I’m sorry,” Glanni softly whispered into Robbie’s ear. 

“Why didn’t you call me?” Robbie murmured into Glanni’s sweater. “I thought…I thought something bad had happened to you.”

“I was being selfish,” Glanni admitted, swallowing. “I didn’t want to…see you look so disappointed in me again…”

Robbie pulled away, having so much to say but holding himself back. He reached his hand up to rest on Glanni’s cheek, wiping some of the tears away. Glanni looked like a kicked puppy, terrified of what Robbie would do to him.

“I’m not disappointed.”

“You…you aren’t?” Glanni gasped, coughing as he choked on some tears. “But I-“

“I’m relieved that you are okay,” Robbie laughed through his own tears, leaning down to rest his forehead against Glanni’s. “I have honestly never been so happy to see you in this cell.”

Glanni laughed half-heartedly, reaching up to wrap his arms around Robbie’s neck. He sniffed as his nose began to run, more tears spilling from his eyes in relief. He had not cried in so long that the feeling was foreign, but it helped him get rid of some of the stress he had acquired while waiting in the prison.

“Mr. Glæpur?”

Glanni and Robbie turned to see a policewoman standing there with a small smile on her face. 

“You are free to go,” she said. “We found the footage of what happened, and it appears there had been a mistake in who actually stole the jewelry. At least this time we found out before Christmas day, so you can go home.”

Glanni breathed a sigh of relief, and Robbie gave her a confused expression. Glanni knew that Robbie did not particularly like jewelry. He had a couple of necklaces that he would wear now and then, but not often and generally only if Glanni asked him to. He never saw the point in jewelry, and made sure to tell Glanni that before he bought something expensive. Robbie preferred things like pillows, or new coffee mugs. 

“Jewelry? Why were you in a jewelry store?” Robbie asked turning to his boyfriend in confusion. “Please tell me you didn’t get me something gaudy just to mess with me.”

Glanni shook his head with a nervous laugh, “Well, you see-“

“Oh, and here is your ring,” the policewoman tossed Glanni a small black box, and he caught it with ease.

“Ring?” Robbie asked with his eyebrows knit together. “Glanni, what’s going on?”

Glanni swallowed, looking Robbie in the eyes. It was too late to go back now…Robbie was too clever. He would figure it out, if he hadn’t already.

With the black box in one hand, he took Robbie’s right hand in his other. Robbie looked down at their hands for a moment, before looking back up at Glanni.

“Robbie…I…” Glanni inhaled sharply, closing his eyes as he tried to calm his nerves.

It was unusual for Glanni to be so nervous. Generally, Robbie was the one who got anxious and needed to be comforted, and so Robbie was a little more than confused. Glanni was always the confident one, who took care of business and always made sure that Robbie was okay. To see him so on edge concerned Robbie.

“I wanted this Christmas to be amazing,” Glanni said quietly, unable to look away from the floor. “Because I’ve messed up all of the other ones.”

“You didn’t mess up-“

“No, let me finish,” Glanni urged, looking up at Robbie. “I have messed them up, don’t lie to me. I have been thinking about what I could possibly do to make up for all of the other ones, and make this Christmas the best Christmas anyone could ever have.”

Robbie swallowed, his heart racing.

“I made sure to bring you lots of cake, I made sure you always had coffee or tea in the morning,” Glanni listed. “I tried not to get annoyed, or lose my temper like I usually do when you start going crazy with decorations. I gave you plenty of hugs, and scraped the snow off of your car so you wouldn’t have to. I tried everything I could possibly think of, but nothing was good enough. At least, not to me.”

“Glanni-“

“I love you more than anything,” Glanni blurted out, squeezing Robbie’s hand. “If I have to endure weeks of Christmas insanity, then so be it. If I have to make sure the dishes are always in the right side of the sink so you can use the left one without any obstacles, then fine. Robbie, I would honestly kill someone for you if I had to.”

The policewoman they forgot was there cleared her throat, and Glanni rolled his eyes and ignored her. 

“And then I would be stuck in the slammer for an actual reason,” Glanni said. “But it would be worth it, because it would be for you.”

Robbie was shaking, his heart beating so hard against his ribcage he found it difficult to breathe, “Glanni, what are you trying to say?”

“I want to be able to do anything and everything for you, and I want this Christmas to be the one that everyone talks about when we are old and our hair is grey,” Glanni whispered, his voice cracking a little. “I want to be woken up by you hitting me with a pillow because I snore, only to have you snore in my ear a while later. I want to wake up in the morning because your freezing-ass feet touch my legs, or because my arm fell asleep because you’re lying on it.”

Robbie laughed, more tears spilling from his eyes. He wiped them away with his free hand, falling back to where he was sitting on his legs rather than standing on his knees.

“I want to endure all of the arguments, and all of the frustrations that you and I are destined to go through,” Glanni smiled apprehensively. “And then I want to enjoy making up afterwards, and finding that we’ve grown closer than before. I want to be able to look back someday and say that _we made it through that.”_

Robbie’s lip was trembling, and he shut his eyes as more tears threatened to fall. He hung his head as he smiled, his hand gripping Glanni’s tightly.

“I don’t ever want to let you go,” Glanni said softly. “And even though I’m not worth your love, I want to try to be…”

Robbie wanted to tell them that he was worth it, and that he loved him more than anything. However, he couldn’t form the words on his shaking lips, and his voice was nonexistent as his throat constricted. He was so overwhelmed that he did not know what to do, except try not to cry his eyes out.

_Is he really doing what I think he is?_

Letting go of Robbie’s hand to hold the little black box, Glanni opened it and looked inside. Robbie could not see what was in there, but Glanni pulled it out with shaking hands. Tossing the box somewhere across the room with a clatter, Glanni took Robbie’s hand in his again.

“Robbie…I…will you…I mean…” Glanni stuttered, his own heart racing nervously. “Fuck, I don’t know how to ask you… I mean, I _know_ how, but I-“

Robbie flung himself into Glanni’s arms, pulling him into a hug again. Glanni nearly dropped the ring in his hand. Robbie smiled into Glanni’s sweater as he in Glanni’s arms, sobbing into his sweater almost as hard as he had been earlier. Glanni’s hands came to rest on Robbie’s back, not sure what to do.

“Yes,” Robbie whispered.

_What?”_

Glanni pushed Robbie away, alarmed.

“I didn’t even ask you anything!” Glanni exclaimed with a deep-set frown. “You can’t just answer without- _wait_ …d-did you say… _yes?”_

Robbie laughed through his sobbing and smiled the brightest smile Glanni had ever seen, “Yes! Yes, Glanni I will marry you! For God’s sake, just put on the damn ring before you faint!”

Glanni sat in shock for a moment before he smiled and tried to keep himself together. Shakily, he put the white-gold ring on Robbie’s finger. It was a simple ring, but it was still beautiful, and Robbie felt his entire world turn upside down when it was put on him. The two looked into each other’s eyes, unsure of what to say or do. Most couples would kiss each other, some longer than others, but the two of them did not feel the urge. They wanted to show their love for one another, but in a different way. Glanni’s fingers intertwined with Robbie’s, hoping to get the message across, and Robbie squeezed his hand in response.

The two were lost in the moment until a chorus of clapping sounded around them. Jumping slightly, they turned to see all of the police officers and some of the prisoners in the other waiting cells clapping in congratulations. Glanni and Robbie turned to look at each other, and shared knowing smiles.

“Congrats you two,” the policewoman smiled, wiping a tear from her eye. “Now get out of my cell.”

“Yes ma’am,” Glanni said, standing on shaky legs.

He helped Robbie up, wrapping an arm around his waist, and the two left with unwavering smiles plastered on their faces. Some officers clapped them on the backs, congratulating them, while others whistled and told Glanni not to “end up in jail on their wedding day”. 

Glanni drove the two of them home, Robbie still too overwhelmed to do anything other than smile and look at the ring on his left hand. Glanni thought it was too simple for Robbie, since he was more of a person to enjoy jewelry.

“Do you like it?” Glanni asked him.

Robbie nodded and smiled wider, “It’s perfect.”

Glanni sighed in relief, smiling as he pulled into their driveway. The two got out, Glanni rushing over to open Robbie’s door with a dramatic bow (which made Robbie laugh), and they went inside with their hands clasped together.

The food was still warm when they ate, even though it was already close to midnight. Glanni told Robbie how delicious it was, and that he was sorry that they did not eat it sooner. Robbie rolled his eyes and said, “of course it’s delicious, I made it”, and then told Glanni that if he said he was sorry one more time he would kick him. They finished their food and turned on the television to play _How the Grinch stole Christmas_ , which was Robbie’s favorite Christmas movie. As they ate their dessert on the couch, tucked underneath a warm blanket, Glanni looked over to Robbie.

“What?” Robbie asked softly, with a mouthful of peppermint bark. 

“I love you,” Glanni whispered.

Robbie was silent for a moment, slightly taken aback by the way Glanni had spoken. He never doubted his sincerity whenever he said those words, but this time…it was different. It was binding. 

A promise.

Robbie set down his plate of dessert, and took Glanni’s left hand. He placed it on his chest, and then reached over and placed his own hand on Glanni’s.

“Do you feel that?” Robbie asked gently, his eyes shining with adoration.

Glanni waited, feeling Robbie’s heart beat beneath his hand. He was so busy trying to figure out what Robbie meant that he almost missed it. It was after one particularly hard beat of his own heart that he realized what Robbie was trying to say. Looking up into Robbie’s eyes, he gasped.

“They are beating together…” 

Robbie smiled, “Do you know what that means?”

“What?” Glanni humored him with a grin.

“That I love you too,” Robbie giggled, his ears turning red in embrassment.

Glanni booped Robbie’s nose with a snicker, and laid back on the couch in a comfortable position. Robbie adjusted himself so that the side of his face was lying on Glanni’s chest, much like how they were on Hanukkah. Glanni’s hand rested on Robbie’s back, and Robbie’s hands on the sides of Glanni.

They watched the Grinch complain and moan about how much Christmas sucked, and laughed whenever he did something silly. Robbie had told Glanni once, when they had first met, that he reminded him of the Grinch. At first, Glanni had been a little offended, but once he watched this move he realized what Robbie meant. They had the same sarcastic outlook on life, and hated noisy people. 

And as much as Glanni hated to admit it, before he met Robbie…his heart might have been two sizes too small.

“I just realized something,” Robbie mused.

“Hm?” Glanni hummed as his eyes closed from exhaustion.

“You proposed to me in a fucking prison.”

Glanni’s eyes shot open, “Oh my god…”

Robbie laughed at the horror on Glanni’s face, and Glanni frowned.

“This isn’t funny, Robbie,” Glanni groaned. “This is absolutely, fucking unacceptable!”

Robbie was wheezing, coughing as he tried to catch his breath. Glanni wondered if the eggnog had gotten to Robbie’s head, or if he was just tired.

“We are doing this tomorrow, in the fucking park or some shit,” Glanni announced. “There will be snow, and flowers, and _stop laughing!”_

Robbie buried his face in Glanni’s sweater, trying to calm himself down. He was still giggling when he looked at Glanni.

“I think it was perfect,” Robbie smiled. 

“How the hell was that perfect?” Glanni demanded, genuinely upset. “I had it all planned out! I was going to go get the ring, come home, eat supper and do all this that we’re doing now, and then I was going to ask you tomorrow night when we go to see those lights in the park that you like so much!”

Robbie shuffled up to hover over Glanni, looking down at him with a fond expression. Glanni felt his temper drain away, replaced with a sense of calm. Robbie was beautiful, even when he was sleepy and his hair all mussed up. He took note of how Robbie was beginning to get laugh lines, which pleased Glanni because that meant that he was at least, if nothing else, making Robbie smile.

“Well, haven’t you realized that whenever we plan anything it never turns out the way we want?” Robbie asked with a smirk.

Glanni’s eyes lidded as he smiled, “It doesn’t, does it?”

Robbie shook his head and pressed a kiss to Glanni’s forehead. He shuffled back down to lie on Glanni’s chest, and watched the movie with a smile. Robbie had moved his left hand up to rest on Glanni’s right shoulder, and Glanni felt his heart warm when he saw the ring on Robbie’s finger. He would never be able to get used to that…being able to call Robbie his, and soon Robbie would be able to call Glanni his. Glanni had just made a promise to Robbie, and it would be a promise that he could actually keep. 

For the first time in a very long time, Glanni was genuinely happy.

“I want a Christmas wedding,” Robbie yawned as his eyes began to shut. “And if you get sent to prison again, we’ll just have it there. The police can marry us.”

Glanni smiled, hugging Robbie close to him, never wanting to let him go.

The two fell asleep that way, lost in their own world of love and affection. Some people might say their relationship was strange, or that it would never work out in the long run. Others might say that it was weird for them to not be as physically affectionate as other couples, or that they could never benefit each other because they were both slightly broken. Robbie had anxiety disorder, and OCD, whereas Glanni was antisocial and depressed. Neither could possibly work together, right?

Yet, somehow they did. Sure, they had moments where they wanted to just give up, saying that it was not worth the hassle. There were moments when they had come extremely close to just cutting all ties and forgetting about each other, only to realize that they could never do that. 

When they weren’t having downs, they were having ups. The ups were much more common, and outweighed the downs by a landslide. When they weren’t arguing, they were walking around the town with their hands clasped together. When they weren’t crying over something silly, they were laughing over something sillier. When they weren’t pushing each other away, they were pulling each other closer together. When Glanni wasn’t calming Robbie down from a panic attack, Robbie was whispering sweet compliments and reassuring Glanni when he was depressed.

They overcame arguments, some bad and some not so bad, and every time they did they found the arguments growing farther and fewer in between. What Glanni used to find annoying about Robbie, like how he was only allowed to put his clothes on the left side of the laundry basket, he soon found to be normal. What Robbie found completely aggravating about Glanni, like the way he always had to order Robbie’s food at restaurants, he now found to be sweet and touching. 

Despite what others might say behind their backs, Robbie and Glanni made it through life together. They were perfect for each other, simply because they were imperfect. If they ever had doubts about their future, they would simply remember back to that moment when Glanni slipped an engagement ring on Robbie’s finger and all unsure thoughts would disappear. They never stopped loving each other, no matter how many hardships or trials they faced.

That is to say, that Glanni and Robbie lived happily (and somewhat strangely) ever after.


End file.
